If I could turn back time… would I?

Thanks Daily Post for making my brain ache with the effort of trying to write a Genie-themed poem while avoiding clichés; oil lamps, bottles, wishes blah blah blah… so predictable, so ordinary. I yearn for original thought but my mind is being assaulted by song lyrics – Terrorvision “III Wishes” – If I had three wishes, I’d wish for five… all the way to a hundred and eleven wishes.

… and Cher “If I could turn back time” – my inner rock chick is less happy about Cher buzzing around my head right now.

So, back to the Genie prompt and some philosophical thinking.

Is wistfully longing for a way to change our past, present or future helpful to how we live right now? Yearning for some magic to vanish away war, illness, bring people back to life, make your foes suffer misfortune? It won’t ever change things for the better, there will always be consequences or may set in motion an even worse situation.

In life we have to deal with what we have in front of us at this moment in time. Yes, we can plan for the future and reminisce about the past. We can be the victim or the survivor. We can stress, fret and worry about anything and everything but we can only change things that are within our sphere of control. Some of our worries may be reasonable but worrying about them won’t necessarily change the outcome.

I had cancer.
I had treatment and have been NED (no evidence of disease) for 3 years 4 months.
Those are irrefutable facts.

I have a survivor mentality, which to me means that I now focus on living, on making my life the best it can be, given my circumstances.
Do I worry about recurrence? Sometimes, but much less than I used to. This is a reasonable worry, and that’s ok as long as it isn’t constantly in my thoughts.

Do I wish that they could tell me it would never return? Yes, definitely yes. But if they didn’t say that, then that would mean it would return… and would I want to hear that news? No.
We survivors live with uncertainty. But so does everyone else. No one knows what the future has in store.

It’s hard for me to imagine what I would wish for if I had a genie on hand, having cancer and going through treatment was horrendous (horrendous enough to leave me with PTSD) but having been through a life threatening illness has made me appreciate life more. It has changed me. I know that how I was living pre-cancer was too focused on the children. I now make sure my needs are also being met. If I hadn’t had cancer, would I be who I am today? No, I wouldn’t. I am a better person because of what I’ve been through.

So, what would I wish for?

And what would you wish for?

Thanks for reading,

Karen x

via Genie — Prompts – The Daily Post

Advertisements

13 thoughts on “If I could turn back time… would I?

  1. Thank you for visiting my humble blog. I am drawing as art therapy. I don’t think it is the actual drawing that is helping but the people I attend the group with that are the therapy. They are a lovely, kind bunch and seem to understand what I am feeling. Aaaaw Fidget sounds like it was an amazing little critter. I don’t think I can get another guinea pig now. I smiled when you said you had a llama cookie cutter. I have a llama manicure set. 😁

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Have just been looking through your blog. You are a fabulous artist, I especially like the iguana. I have had rabbit and guinea pigs in the past, our last guinea, Fidget, lived to 8 years old. And bizarrely, I have a Llama cookie cutter!
      And having read about TN (I’m not going to attempt to spell it), sounds horrendous xx

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I would wish to be healthy again. You are one brave lady. Pain changes how you view the world. Trigeminal Neuralgia and Arthritis have taken its toll on my body. I also had a benign tumour in my leg removed and fell to pieces waiting for it to be done. It probably made me a better person too.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I do not believe we have complete control of our lives because we are buffeted by chance and circumstances that we cannot foresee or control.
    Unfortunately some seem to have a very rough ride while others seem to escape the worst that life can throw at them.
    Looking back with hindsight changes our perspective and we tend to think we could have avoided mistakes made in the past. This is an illusion since at that moment of time we had no hindsight. It is beautifully summed up in the old favorite song ‘ what will be will be ‘.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No, we don’t have complete control and that is the difficulty for me, as I unrealistically expect to have control of everything. Hindsight bias – thinking that you should have done something different based on what you know now. I learnt about that in therapy!
      Thanks for your perspective on this post and as always, thanks for reading.
      Karen.

      Like

      1. I understand , some scientific types have that outlook and it can be dangerous . When I was working I felt often that I had no time and things were difficult with four children a girl and three boys. What is called the rat race had me and my wife in its grip but we got through and now my oldest is fifty years old. All of my children are now in the fast lane but we are so happy to be in a quiet backwater. We live very near the sea which is a constant balm for us both , we can’t control it but it’s moods are beautiful.

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s